“Vin Charles is Good At His Job

And he wants to build a better humanity, a few orgasms at a time

When the phone rang, I jumped. I was incredibly nervous about the entire endeavor. After two highly enjoyable weeks of listening to Vin’s audio recordings, this smooth calm voice talking me into orgasm like some other ones I’d found on Youtube, but then unlike the other ones on Youtube, clearly telling me he doesn’t want any long-term control over the people out there in internetland. I like my autonomy enough that I became intrigued, and in a moment of limbo between Christmas and New Year’s, I’d screwed up my courage and scheduled a call. So the phone rang and, yeah, the same voice from the audio recording said “Hello?”– oh jeez, my heart leapt into my mouth: was I crazy? I was embarking on…  an encounter with an internet. erotic. hypnotist. This was insane.

In spite of the fact that that job title of “internet erotic hypnotist from New Jersey” almost mandates that the person be a creep, in spite of the fact that I was fully ready to bail at the first sign of creepiness, as we introduced ourselves and talked a bit about what had gotten us to the two ends of the phone connection, Vin talked to me like… well, like people: friendly, intelligent, clear, professional, steady—which was very normalizing and noncreepy. Vin was noncreepy during the entire call, up to and throughout the hypnosis experience. And after it happened and I’d been on a crazy journey and was trying to put my thoughts together… Vin remained friendly, intelligent, clear, professional, and very steady. Noncreepy.

Maybe fifteen minutes in, Vin asked if I wanted to try a hypnosis experience. I did, and it was the strangest thing— though his voice was still the voice I remember in such a charged way from the audio recordings, it was also the person I’d just been having a decent and friendly conversation with, and I don’t know if it was that or what it was that slid me into the deep end of pleasure so very smoothly and quickly. He kept the very same tone, pleasantly and conversationally leading me into—yeah, wow: waves of energetic pleasure, orgasms I lost count of– and hope, and change, and transformation, maybe—which means, I think, that things went according to plan.

Uh huh, plan. Let’s talk about the human mind.

To pull a line from some (all?) of the Vin audios, the “super powerful” mind: the one I have, the one you have, the one Vin invites people to share with him. Vin asked me and my mind to follow him, and there I was in a state that I once would have thought was oxymoronic. How does a fully dressed person sitting on a freezing tile floor feel profoundly comfortable, absolutely and totally relaxed, and also utterly carbonated with pleasure– pleasure enough to slip over the edge into orgasm on the strength of a verbal command– once, twice, a cool eight or twelve times? Ecstatic. Relaxation. It’s real. Thanks, super powerful mind.

(Honestly, “Ecstatic Relaxation” is a title that at first made me smirk. It seemed like an ultimate internet- business-bro amalgamation of meaningless feel-good words à la “dynamic synergy” or “leverage optimization”–  but as it turns out, Ecstatic Relaxation is an almost hilariously workmanlike description of the experience of the Vin call.)

How powerful? A theory comes to me: the experience of the Vin call seems to me like the polar opposite of the dreary stress/cortisol science article we’ve all read on the internet. We know the drill, right? — stress leads your body to produce cortisol, the “fight or flight” hormone; cortisol turns you into a tense, grumpy, corpulent husk of a being, ain’t it a shame? Stress is bad; try to avoid it, eat greens, et cetera, end of article. Those articles, though, prescribe what both the Buddha and the Dread Pirate Roberts tell us is impossible: the absence of stress. Processing the Vin call, though, it occurs to me that maybe, just maybe, the ecstatic relaxation experience breaks on through to the other side, beyond the mere absence of stress into its active repudiation, the pleasure-based mirror of the stress hyperbola. Don’t fight; don’t fly. Stay, and relax, and… orgasm now. My whole nervous system is still gently fizzing its thanks and praise as I type, these many hours later.

And it’s not just about swimming in the pleasure sea… or rather, it maybe can be (Vin advertises straight-up phone sex) but it can easily also be more. Vin says he wants to help people tap into their better selves, transform themselves, transcend their old “stuff.” I think the witchcraft people might call it sex magick, but at a certain point, labeling it is irrelevant and the question becomes: what do you want your super-powerful mind to do for you? If you can feel this good just with Vin talking to you, what else that you want can he guide your mind into? A couple—or maybe, like eighteen?– orgasms in, Vin had me just float there while he had a chat with the deepest part of my mind—the mind that had the power to overwhelm me with this much pleasure just by listening some internet guy from New Jersey. I’d told Vin earlier that I wanted some changes in how I perceive the world, in my self-talk, in my attitude about setbacks in my life– and with the vast majority of me deliciously absorbed in feeling good, Vin calmly started laying idea after idea down like playing cards; about how I was going to start thinking in exactly the way I wanted to, how I was going to start treating myself exactly how I wish I could, how I could boss my setbacks (or at least my attitude toward them) into submission. It was only six hours ago; I don’t know if that stuff has changed or not, but what I do know is that the very small part of me that was still capable of thought at that point did feel it, a small yet perceptible rearrangement in how my thinking was put together. Also it was impressed with Vin’s careful attention to what I’d said earlier about why I was calling. He’d listened and shaken out the main ideas from my original nervous stream-of-consciousness phone chatter, and was calmly playing instructions like cards into my open mind.

Making me feel this, this good can’t be the sole power my unconscious mind has, right? Can the Vin call change me? Can we change the world?

Count up from five, I’m awake, I’m not nervous and it’s weird how weird I don’t feel. Maybe I’m even a little transformed. Vin Charles: building a better me, 23 orgasms at a time. Self-improvement never felt this good.”

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